How to grow a beard
When I first thought I might be able to grow a beard, I was intimidated by the idea of looking scruffy while the beard grew. I also wondered whether and when I would need special tools to trim it, and all those unknowns lead me to delay growing a beard until I was in my thirties. I grew short sideburns when I was twenty, but I never went any further, which I now regret.
You do not need to have a long time away from formal situations in order to grow a beard. This method will let you start over a weekend, if your hair grows reasonably fast, or during a single week off of work if your beard grows more slowly (or you’re blonde).
Bald patches
Before we get started, let’s cover bald patches. Some people, simply, just cannot grow a nice looking beard. If you have bald patches that may not mean you cannot grow a nice beard. Stress (either mental stress or a physical illness) can cause patches of facial hair not to grow in, periodically. If you have a bald patch, shave as you normally would and wait a couple of months or a couple of years and try again. If you have bald patches continually, it is up to you to decide if they will look odd or whether they make you look distinguished.
Now, let’s get started growing that beard!
Day one
Choose a long weekend or a week you have off from work. On the first day do not shave.
Day two
On the second day, you should have a little stubble all over your face. If you do not have stubble on all parts of your face (e.g. you have bald patches or you have longer stubble in some places than others) subtract one day from the headings here and start here again tomorrow.
So you have stubble all over. To make it look deliberate, shave your neck up to a line that looks good. You might choose a straight line around your neck level with your Adams apple, or the ‘corner’ where your neck ends and your head starts. Whatever you choose, just shaving that area will make it look deliberate and not like laziness.
If your hair grows a long way up your cheek, also shave some of that, leaving only the areas that will be bearded with some stubble.
Day three
Your stubble will be slightly longer, but maybe not noticeably. Shave your neck and cheeks again as on day two. Do not shampoo your stubble.
If your neck is feeling itchy, consider shaving further up so that your neck has less on it.
Day four
Depending how quickly your hair grows, you might already have what looks like a beard (more than just designer stubble). If that’s the case, now’s the time to look into buying a beard trimmer. A beard trimmer has a guide on it and can be set to cut all the hair to the same length. If your hair grows unevenly, then you can use this to keep it all the same length and slowly make the guide’s length longer as you get a longer beard.
Do not shampoo your beard. My personal opinion is that shampoo should only be used on head hair once every couple of months or so (see below), and beard hair is even more sensitive to having the oils stripped out.
Shave the neck and cheeks again as always, and every subsequent day.
Day six
This may not be day six, but at some point your moustache might be too long while the rest of your beard has not yet gotten long enough (and if it’s even, you won’t need to trim anywhere else yet). In this case, trim your moustache using your beard trimmer without its guide.
If either of your parents have the gene for red hair, even if your hair is not red, you may now notice some color in your facial hair. Interestingly, while head-hair requires both your parents to have the red / ginger hair gene, beard hair only requires one parent to possess it for you to have red hair in your beard!
Day x
At some point in the future, you will find the beard is at the right length and you want it to stay that long. At that point, use the beard trimmer once per week to keep the beard at the length you want it. Keep shaving your neck daily.
A longer beard
If you want to grow a bushman beard, you can stop shaving your neck when the beard gets longer than where your neck is. At that point your beard and your neck hair complement each other. To keep the beard neat, trim the hairs that grow outward and away from your face. Brush your beard with a hairbrush as soon as it’s long enough to start to get knotty.
Shampoo
Shampoo is somewhat of a scam. It strips oils out of your hair which are important to hair health. Then you buy conditioner which doesn’t replace those oils, but makes it looks like it has, covering your hair in a shiny non-oily film. Shampoo is useful if your hair is actually dirty (e.g. if you fell in a pond) but otherwise it’s not good for your hair and is not necessary for hygiene.
Your beard hair is even more sensitive to drying out. The natural oils that your skin produces are important to your beard’s health. Beard balms are useful if your skin does not produce enough oils but it’s really only necessary if you shampoo your beard. So don’t!
If you do need to shampoo your beard, then use a beard oil or beard balm. Unlike hair conditioners, these are actual oils and will help keep your beard healthy if it’s lost some natural oils.
Questions
I have tried to cover all the things that concerned me, or that would have been useful to me when experimenting with the bearded life. But have I missed something, or do you have a question you fear may be unusual? If so, let me know in the comments and I will try to help!
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